I want to write all night, I don't want to sleep, not at all.
I just want to write until my mind goes completely blank. Until I am sick to my stomach... Until my hand and arm give out.
I want to throw all thoughts and memories on paper. I want to escape this world. ...this long and lonely night.
I want to feel free.
I want to write her a love song. One she will never forget... I want to write everyone in my life a letter, exposing my true self to them. Tell them that if I am okay with who I am, they should be okay with it too.
I am going to explain everything tonight.
Let me write it all tonight... Until the ink on this pen slowly fade away...
Drove away... Came to a place where I was greeted by a beautiful girl... a beautiful girl that I had seen before... somewhere...long ago. I tried my hardest to remember who she was, but I failed to remember.
She took my hand and took me to the river... she showed me all these beautiful gardens, and walked with me for hours... and I never said a word.
She smiled all through the evening. Then the sky grew dark, and it was time to head home.
[I knew I had seen this smile before. I knew her... Who was she? and why couldn't I remember her?]
Right when we entered her home, She sat me on the couch, put her legs around my waist... And kissed me. She kissed my hands... and kissed my cheek.
She kissed my cheek so many times before she kissed my lips... and when she kissed my lips I shivered. The touch of her hand on my skin sent shivers all through my body. She kissed me and I kissed her back...
and I remembered.
I had kissed these lips before. I had felt this way before...
It was her...
I had found her after all these years. I had finally found her, and my heart filled with excitement.
I wanted to cry I wanted to scream I wanted to speak.
But I could not cry... and I could not scream... and I could not speak.
Suddenly... I no longer knew where I was... I could barely see her. I saw her lips moving, but could not hear her words.
I was slowly losing her...
I could hear someone knocking and banging at the door... but it was not her.
The room became blurry... and slowly faded to white.
She was gone...
and I never said a word. I never told her I'd meet her again... I never told her that I never stopped loving her and that I'd come back as soon as I remembered where she was.
I woke up...
I woke up to the noise of someone knocking... someone banging at my door.